Pitch Wars 2018 Wish List


Hello, Pitch Wars hopefuls. So happy you’ve stopped by!

I’m Susan (Sus to almost anyone who’s known me longer than five minutes). I was a mentee in 2014 (with the book that got me my agent and two-book deal with St. Martin’s Press) and have been a mentor since 2016 (both of my previous mentees are agented, and one had her PW book debut this year). And I am thrilled to be back mentoring again! I hope you find this community as magical as I do.


If you have an Adult Magical Realism, Contemporary Fiction, Women’s Fiction, or Light Sci-Fi/Fantasy book, and it’s fresh and shiny (by that I mean a fairly polished manuscript, not first draft) and you’re ready to do some major work on your manuscript, PRETTY PLEASE SEND IT TO ME.


I know you’re really here to see if your book matches up with the specific stories I’m looking for, but before you scroll down, please give me the chance to tell you what I can give you as an Adult mentor…

  1. A critical eye on character motivation, stakes, and consistency (and a whole mess of other topics!). I ask a lot (like hundreds) of questions in a manuscript I’m critiquing. I nickpick tiny details that can throw a reader and I also look at overall character arcs to ensure there is growth, both emotionally and story-wise. It will be intense. And it will mean cutting some darlings and writing whole new scenes and rethinking the core of your manuscript at times. If you’re open to that kind of whole-book makeover, it will be worth it. I’ll give in-documents comments and track changes as needed and I’ll also provide an edit letter of sorts early on with an outline of what I love and think is working well and a detailed discussion of what I think needs to be reworked. It will be lots of emails and phone/Skype calls (if needed/wanted) after that as we work through the manuscript. It’s a definite team effort. I have a day job and a husband that require my attention, but I will give you as much of my time as you need during our few months together.
  2. Brainstorming and discussion. I know writing can feel like something that’s done in a vacuum, but there are times when bouncing ideas off someone is exactly what’s needed to get the creative juices flowing again. So, if I comment on something you don’t agree with or aren’t sure how to tackle, we can talk about it and find a way to make it work. It’s not an all or nothing situation with me. This is your book, not mine, so we’ll work on issues together until you are satisfied with the end result.
  3. An insider’s perspective. As I mentioned above, I’ve been both a mentee and a mentor before. I cannot stress this enough, Pitch Wars will be HARD. And it will go by so fast you’ll wonder how you’ll ever get done in time. I know how that within two weeks of starting on your revision with me you might be cursing my name and wondering why you ever thought you could handle something as intense as Pitch Wars. Believe me, I’ve been there. And I got through it. I’ll make sure you do as well, with your sanity intact and (hopefully) with a manuscript you love even more than when we started.
  4. A cheerleader beyond Pitch Wars. I’m in this writing life for the long haul. And I fully believe that one of the best ways to continue to grow (and stay sane) is to have a community of writers who support and love you and buoy you when it all feels like too much. Once Pitch Wars is over, I will still be here cheering from the sidelines, offering advice (when asked, of course!) and celebrating the victories. (Or, like with my last mentee, randomly texting about our new favorite CW show or brewery we went to.)


Crispell_Full_Size_for_Printing01I live in Wilmington, North Carolina with my husband and our orange tabby cat, Pippin. Aside from writing, I obsess over swoony fictional boys and baked goods; spend all my spare money on books, art, and going to hard rock concerts; and fangirl over quirky TV shows, most of which got canceled way before their time (and I have a wax lion to prove it!). My drinks of choice–depending on the time of day–are coffee with cream and sugar, a good saison or other Belgian style beer, and bourbon on the rocks.

I write magical southern fiction, including THE SECRET INGREDIENT OF WISHES (Sept. 6, 2016/Thomas Dunne Books) and DREAMING IN CHOCOLATE (Feb. 6, 2018/St. Martin’s Press). I am represented by Patricia Nelson at Marsal Lyon Literary Agency. I earned a BFA in creative writing from the University of North Carolina at Wilmington and love that I can truthfully say I use my degree for my day job (I’m a proposal manager for a clinical research company) as well as being a published author.

Check out my social media to get a better idea of what I’m like in real life:
WebsiteTwitter | Facebook | InstagramPinterest


If you stuck with me through all of that, thank you! If you skipped the getting to know me stuff, that’s okay. I totally get it. (We can still be friends, right?) So, here’s where I tell you what specific kinds of stories I’m interested in for Pitch Wars…

Daisies books

Magical Fiction/Magical Realism: Yes, there is a difference between contemporary magical fiction and traditional magical realism. I love both! Give me your whimsical, quirky, fairytale-esque, magical stories. This means anything similar to Sarah Addison Allen’s books, The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern, Landline by Rainbow Rowell, Of Bees and Mist by Erick Setiawan, and The Weight of Feathers by Anna Marie McLemore (but for adults!) If you have something like the movie Penelope, I need it yesterday.

Contemporary Fiction/Women’s Fiction: Give me relatable characters in difficult emotional situations. Especially when in combination with small towns. I’d love to see books like Come Away With Me by Karma Brown, Close Enough to Touch by Colleen Oakley, April & Oliver by Tess Callahan, Attachments by Rainbow Rowell. Also, Gilmore Girls, Everwood, Hart of Dixie, Pushing Daisies, This is Us, and The Good Place are high on my TV fangirl list, so anything in the same vein (family drama or friendships that feel like family) will make me swoon.

Romantic Storylines: I’m a sucker for love stories and HEAs (or at least happy for now). It’s not a deal breaker, but for me there’s not much better than wanting to hug a book when I’m through with it because I loved it so much. Bonus points if you can make me cry from the epicness of the relationships! This can mean romantic women’s fiction like Amy E. Reichert’s novels and The City Bakers Guide to Country Living by Louise Miller, as well as contemporary romance/rom coms like The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang, The Hating Game by Sally Thorne, and Netflix’s Set It Up. Medium heat level, please. I blush easily, so graphic sex isn’t my thing. LBGTQA relationships welcome.

Light Sci-Fi/Fantasy: I’m also very open to fringe-y sci-fi stories like Fringe, Orphan Black, Doctor Who, Haven, the 100, and Lost. But make sure the focus of the story is on the characters–how they relate to each other and how the weird brings them together. I read a lot of YA fantasy (Leigh Bardugo, Maggie Stiefvater, Laini Taylor and Sarah Rees Brennan, to name a few) but not as much in the adult arena. When it comes to my strengths in these areas, I’m more of a weird science in our reality or an alternate universe kinda girl rather than a high/epic fantasy kinda girl. (No creatures/shifters/aliens or made up languages or names I can’t pronounce, sorry.) Other mentors are much better suited to those epic worlds than I am. If it’s recognizable as our world with a twist, I’m all in. *If you’re not sure if yours fits this category or if you want to clarify the “creatures”, send me a Tweet or use the AMA in the forums and I’ll try to answer as best I can.*

Random Things I Love: stories that feed my love of food (magical food all the better!), music (hard rock is my genre of choice, but music of any kind in stories steals my heart), sisters (or sibling) stories, life in the South, the beach, and fandoms (I’m a Marshmallow, a Ravenclaw, a Pie-holer, a Whovian, a Browncoat, and too many more to name) will probably grab my attention even if they don’t fit neatly into one of the categories above.

Hart of Dixie

But if it helps clarify things a little more, I’m NOT looking for memoirs, graphic novels, thrillers, suspense, mysteries, horror, historical (unless it’s magical), inspirational or religious, hard SFF, urban fantasy, or erotica. I’m just not a good fit for those types of stories as I don’t read much in those genres. I’m willing to look at NA submissions, but I’d probably ask the mentee to age it up to adult.

I am however ALL FOR diverse books and #ownvoices stories. Stories featuring diverse cultures, LBGTQA, disabilities? Yes, please!

To sum it all up, the books I’m most drawn to have a voice that jumps off the page, complicated relationships, big hearts, and stunning words. Give me layered friendships and family drama and characters I can root for, flaws and all. I particularly love stories that include food, magical realism, and strong women. Most of all, I want to be awed by your book.

If you’re not sure, give me a try. I’m open to having my mind changed by spectacular writing and unforgettable characters.






































Powered by… Mister Linky’s Magical Widgets.


Celebrate #NationalBookLoversDay with Books And Bottles!

National Book Lovers Day

Yesterday was #NationalBookLoversDay, and to celebrate Francis Ford Coppola Winery is offering $10 shipping on a Books And Bottles collection! In case you don’t know, my latest novel, Dreaming in Chocolate, is a part of this book club in a box, which includes one book, two bottles of wine (one red, one white), and a booklet containing a book chat with the featured authors, playlists, and recipes to help you savor the entire reading experience.

This offer ends on 8/15, so don’t miss out!

Character Arcs Part 3: A Few Things to Note

Character Arcs 3

Parts 1 and 2 of this short character arc series covered the basics and the process. Part 3 includes a few extras that you need to keep in mind as you’re writing.

Don’t Forget the Secondary Characters
Character arcs can—and should—apply to secondary characters as well. These arcs might not play out on the page in full detail as with the main characters but showing some of this progression will help fill out your world, ensuring an immersive experience for the reader.

This applies to antagonists too. Whether he’s a full-on villain trying to thwart your main character at every turn or just someone who’s acting in opposition to her goals, the antagonist should have his own, well-developed arc. This doesn’t mean he’ll suddenly realize the error of his ways and turn “good.” But he can’t come across as static or he’ll feel more like a cardboard cutout than a living, breathing person.

Start in the Right Place
Trying to decide where to start your story can be daunting. But when you boil the story down to plot and character, the appropriate starting scene usually becomes clear. Look at who your character is and then drop her into a scene just before her world changes. All the reader needs is a hint of her “normal life” so they are grounded in the story world before things go sideways.

Eliminate Backstory
Most writers create detailed backstories for their characters. Only a fraction of that information actually makes it into the novel. Why? Because backstory slows down the pace and stops the forward momentum of the present story. That’s not to say those details aren’t important—they do inform why the character acts a certain way—but usually, they mean more to the author than the reader. So, while characters continually grow and change, the only details that pertain to the current story arc are the ones that matter most.

Show, Don’t Tell
Yep, the Show, Don’t Tell advice applies to character arcs too. As your character changes, you will need to show this progression on the page You can do this through her actions/reactions and dialogue.

The character’s emotional reaction is what’s driving her to change or adapt to be able to reach her goal. How she reacts and the action she takes because of it should play out as a scene, using physical movements and internal thought/reaction to let the reader experience everything right along with your character.

You can also use what the characters says to show her gradual change. Word choice, tone, and speech patterns all play a part in revealing her moods and overall state of mind. Altering these over the course of the story will work in concert with her actions and reactions to show the character growth in an organic way.

When an Arc Is Not an Arc
Now that I’ve convinced you of the importance of creating character arcs, I have a confession. It’s not really an arc.

If you tried to map out your character’s emotional journey, it would involve a lot more ups and downs (hello there, obstacles!) than the word arc implies. What’s important is that your character ends up in a different place on both the X and Y axis (unless you’re writing a flat character, and if you’re doing that you’d better have a really good reason for it!). It’s that change from page one to The End that will give your character—and their story—meaning for the reader.

Character Arcs Part 2: Creating Successful Character Arcs

Character Arcs 2

The basic process for developing a character arc stays the same across all arc types. And, no surprise, it starts with asking those questions mentioned in the introduction. What does she want? How does she plan to get it? What’s holding her back? What happens if she fails?

From there, each piece builds on the next as life grows increasingly more difficult for your character until she reaches her “make or break” point. Then, with everything on the line, she will make a decision that drives both the plot and character arc toward satisfying resolutions. If not, everything you’ve written to that point is all for naught.

Identify Character Goals and Motivation
To determine what kind of character arc is right for your story, you must first know what the character wants (goal) and why it matters (motivation). These two things will be the driving force for the plot. They will also provide the undercurrent of emotion that is fueling the character’s decisions and actions.

Your main character will have an overall story goal that spans the whole book. At the same time, she will have smaller goals within each scene and chapter that act as stepping stones, leading her toward that larger goal. By understanding your character’s goals and motivations, you’ll be able to put her in situations that challenge her, causing every scene to be chockful of emotional tension.


  • Brainstorm a list of things your character wants:
    • Focus on her deepest, longest-held desires, which should have a direct link to her emotions.
    • Ask: What would make her happy? What’s missing from her life? What would she do anything to protect? What would she be devastated to lose? What does she want to change about herself or her life?
  • Cull the list to include only the goals that will force her to grow or change:
    • Ask: Will she still want it tomorrow or next week or a month from now? Does she have to give up anything or change a deep-seated belief to get it? What will her life look like after she gets it?
  • Determine her motivation for reaching each goal:
    • Ask: Why does she want it so badly? How far is she willing to go to get it? What is she willing to give up in return? What makes one more important than the other things she wants?

Set Up the Stakes
The main driving force in a story is what will happen if your character doesn’t get what she wants. This is your story’s stakes. To be an effective driver, the stakes need to be the worst-case scenario for your character. Keep in mind that every character will have a different definition of the end of life as they know it based on their personality, beliefs, personal support system (family and friends), experiences, etc.

Stakes don’t always have to be life and death to make the goal worth fighting for, but it must feel like life and death to your character.

Whether she’s a chosen one tasked with slaying vampires to save her town from being swallowed by the Hellmouth or a woman struggling with her weight—and how she sees herself—as well her guilt over her beloved father’s death twenty years before, the consequences of her failure must be high enough that she’ll do everything in her power to come out on top.


  • List the possible outcomes for your character not achieving the goal:
    • Ask: What’s her worst-case scenario? What, if anything, would make it even worse? How would her life change forever?
  • Be specific:
    • Use your character’s unique backstory to give meaningful detail to these answers.

Uncover the Emotional Wound

Once you’ve hit on that worst-case scenario, you need to examine why it’s the worst. Every character (and human for that matter) has emotional wounds that alter how they view the world and themselves. These wounds can also be called fatal flaws or misbeliefs. They are the lies we tell ourselves to keep from getting hurt again. So, of course, you’ll need to poke at your character’s wounds at every turn to provide internal obstacles for her to face in parallel with the external, plot-driven obstacles thrown in her path.


  • Isolate the incident in your character’s past that caused the emotional wound:
    • Ask: Who in her life had the power to hurt her that deeply? What made it so awful that she couldn’t move past it? How did it fundamentally change her perception of the world and herself? What would her life be like if this incident had never happened?
    • Keep drilling down until you reach the heart of why failure would be so catastrophic for her, emotionally.

Create Character Agency Through Obstacles and Emotional Reaction
The word “agency” comes up a lot in craft discussions. But it’s not always a term that writers, especially new writers, understand. Essentially, giving a character agency means making her active in her own story. She must make decisions and take action to drive both the story and her own growth forward. These decisions don’t always have to be the right ones. In fact, having your character make some ill-advised choices along the way, thanks to the emotional turmoil you’re putting her through, will help show how much she’s grown at the end.

Think about how boring the Harry Potter series would have been if Harry just lounged around the Gryffindor common room waiting for something exciting to happen. Instead, he chose to constantly break the rules—and put himself and his friends in danger—all because he was driven by his desire to protect those he loves from Voldemort.

Like with Harry, the obstacles a character faces throughout the story should always tie back to her emotional wound. This forces the character to push out of her comfort zone and start to change.

Put Your Character’s Growth to the Test
Story arcs are built on cause and effect. This happens, so this happens, so this happens and so on. Every decision a character makes leads her into the next. Character arcs follow a similar pattern, but they are based on the character’s emotional reaction to the plot and the obstacles that are thrown at her. It looks more like this:

Obstacle arises -> emotional reaction -> purposeful action to overcome obstacle ->
new obstacle arises -> emotional reaction -> purposeful action -> new obstacle arises

This cycle repeats, constantly making her life worse, until she’s down to two options: give up or finally see the light.

As writers, it’s often hard to cause our characters pain. They’re a part of us after all. But challenging them—pushing them to their limits—is the only way to move them closer to reaching their goals.

If Harry walked into Hogwarts that first day already equipped with the emotional fortitude to defeat Voldemort, there would have been no book, let alone seven of them. It took losing so many people that he loved for him to learn that spells had limitations, but love was strong enough to save the world.

So, every time you find yourself taking it easy on your character, find the one thing that will hurt her the most in that moment and put it in her path. Your readers will thank you for it.

See the Light
For your character to have the strength and emotional fortitude to push through her last, near-impossible obstacle, she must first realize the lie (emotional wound) that’s been holding her back. Because you’ve woven this wound throughout the story, the plot has been leading your character to this Aha moment from the start.

She will emerge from the darkest point of her story (commonly referred to as the dark night of the soul) and this revelation will be the spark that ignites her change. In doing so, it will equip her with everything she needs to finally reach her goal.

Complete the Journey
The story can’t end until your character has either achieved what she wanted or decided it wasn’t what she needed after all. For the story’s resolution to feel earned, it must directly tie to the character’s emotional journey. After being put through the wringer for a few hundred pages, your character—not to mention your steadfast reader—deserves a few moments of peace.

Check in tomorrow for Part 3: A Few Things to Note.

Character Arcs Part 1: A Journey of Self-Discovery

Character Arcs 1

Stories are composed of two main components: plot and characters. Without these, you are left with a bunch of words on the page that hold no meaning for the reader. Those words might be beautifully crafted, but if the reader doesn’t care about your character, they’ll set your book aside without a second thought. And that’s the last thing you want.

To hook your reader, and keep them invested in the story until The End, you must weave plot and character together.

The first step is understanding who your character is. It’s easy to build a character sketch to nail down whether she’s a soul destined for hell or a snarky outsider with a heart of gold, but these attributes are only scratching the surface. You’ll need to dig deep into the core of who she is by asking a few basic, but crucial, questions. What does she want? How does she plan to get it? What’s holding her back? What happens if she fails?
Knowing the answers to these questions will help you build an arc for your character that creates a compelling emotional journey throughout the story.

What is a Character Arc?
Characters come into a story with certain beliefs and morals and a whole host of experiences that have shaped them. Well-written characters feel like they could step right out of the pages and exist in the real world. So, what is it that makes them seem so alive?

Let’s start with a basic fact of human nature. People change. They evolve, grow, and, yes, sometimes they backslide. No one comes into the world the same person as they leave it. Your characters shouldn’t either. For them to be relatable and believable, they must mimic real life—even if the story world you’re creating includes fantastical elements like future-telling chocolates or wishes that appear out of thin air on slips of paper, as they do in my books. This means imbuing your characters with both positive and negative traits, giving them passion (for family/friends/lovers/pets as well as hobbies/places/objects), surrounding them with supporting characters they can play off of, and using these characteristics to move them through the story.

Which brings us to the character arc. It is the emotional journey that causes your character to change in some way over the course of the story. This inner change occurs in parallel with—and because of—the plot (story arc or external change).

Types of Character Arcs
There are four main types of character arcs: transformative, growth, downfall, and flat. The first three change the character in varying degrees, while the last allows the character to end the story just as she began it. Allowing characters to grow results in the characters coming across as more compelling and dynamic. Which, in turn, keeps readers invested in the character’s life and well-being—both physical and emotional.

Transformative Arc
The transformative arc leads the character through an epic transformation from a normal, everyday person to someone extraordinary. In some cases, this change involves magic or superpowers or some “other” force that literally give them the ability to save the world. In others, the change is spurred by the character’s absolute desire for something and the need to adapt to achieve it.

This arc results in a fundamental change to the character. She ends the book as a “new and improved” version of herself.

Examples include Buffy Summers in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Octavia Blake in The 100, and Logan Echolls in Veronica Mars.

Growth Arc
The growth arc guides the character on a more natural progression of self-awareness. Her everyday actions and reactions teach her something new about herself and the world around her. The core of who she is as a character remains intact, but a few key traits are altered, changing her outlook on specific aspects of her life.
This arc results in a gradual change to some, but not all, of her characteristics. She ends the story as a more enlightened, confident version of herself.

Examples include Belle in Beauty and the Beast, Elizabeth Bennett in Pride & Prejudice, and Sawyer in Lost.

Downfall Arc
The downfall arc pushes the character to a fall from grace. It’s like the transformative arc but in reverse. The character usually starts the story with good intentions and redeeming qualities, but each choice she makes strips away another piece of who she is until, by the story’s end, she is no longer recognizable.

This arc results in the character losing her sense of self to the intense desire that’s driving her. She ends the book as a shadow of her former self, if she makes it out of the story at all.

Examples include Hamlet in Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Walter White in Breaking Bad, and Cersei Lannister in the A Song of Ice and Fire series.

Flat Arc
The flat arc follows a character who remains static from beginning to end. Sometimes a character’s beliefs are reaffirmed after a few bouts of doubt. Other times, the story is plot-driven and character growth is not expected or needed for the reader to be entertained.

This arc results in the character maintaining the same characteristics and beliefs throughout. She is neither better nor worse at the end than when the story began.

Examples include Inigo Montoya in The Princess Bride, Sherlock Holmes of the Sherlock Holmes series, and Diana of Wonder Woman.

Check in tomorrow for Part 2: Creating Successful Character Arcs.

Pitch Wars: Successful Query

As the Pitch Wars Hopefuls prep for submission in August, the mentors are sharing our successful queries as examples. (Check the #pitchwars Twitter feed for posts from other mentors.)

I was a Pitch Wars mentee in 2014. The following is the query letter that helped me sign with my rockstar agent, Patricia Nelson, with my Pitch Wars manuscript, which was retitled as The Secret Ingredient of Wishes and published by St. Martin’s Press/Thomas Dunne Books in 2016. (If you go to my book’s link after reading the query you might notice how this synopsis basically ended up as the back cover copy!)

Dear Ms. Nelson,

Rachel Monroe, 26, can make wishes come true just by thinking about them. But it’s a gift that has caused more harm than good. And after her mother’s death, which Rachel blames herself for, she decides it’s time to leave her hometown—and her past—behind.

But when Rachel gets stranded in small-town Nowhere, NC—also known as the town of “Lost and Found”—she realizes she can’t escape her past, or her gift. In Nowhere Rachel is taken in by a spit-fire old woman, Catch, who binds the townspeople’s secrets by baking them into pies, and who has an uncanny ability to see exactly what Rachel is trying to hide. She also meets Ashe, Catch’s neighbor with southern charm and a complicated past, who makes her want to believe in happily-ever-after.

As she settles into the small town, she hopes her own secrets will stay hidden—especially the one about how she wished her little brother out of existence when they were kids. But starting over is harder than she thought, and when her wish-granting secret is revealed, the town people’s wishes begin popping out of thin air everywhere she goes. Scared the wishes will go wrong like in the past, she tries to ignore them, which only makes the wishes more determined to get her attention. Then when Rachel is forced to confront the truth about her brother, she must accept her magical ability or risk losing those she has come to love—and a chance at happiness—all over again.

My magical realism novel, WISHES TO NOWHERE, is complete at 83,500 words and will appeal to fans of Sarah Addison Allen and Alice Hoffman. I earned a BFA in creative writing from the University of North Carolina – Wilmington. Swoon Romance published my magical realism novel, LOVE AND CUPCAKES, in January 2014. For the past eleven years, I have worked as a marketing copywriter and proposal editor.

Thank you for your consideration.

Susan Crispell

*Side note, I actually queried another agent at the agency because Patricia did not request from me during the Pitch Wars agent round so I thought she wouldn’t be interested. I was wrong. The other agent loved the pitch but was moving away from adult books so she passed my query to Patricia who requested immediately. I then went through an R&R (revise and resubmit) with Patricia before she signed me.

The Revision State of Mind


Writers seem to come in two categories 1) those who love drafting and dread revision and 2) those who put up with drafting and live for revising. (Raises hand.) The more books I write, the more I realize how hard drafting is. I just want it all on the page already so I can fix it until it matches what’s in my head.

But when people dread revising, it’s because revising requires a logical/structured approach, which goes against our creative natures. After spending months—or years—working on a book, we’re emotionally invested in the words already on the page. And it can be hard to cut scenes or characters or even half the book, if necessary. But here’s the thing: no book is perfect on the first try. Revising is the phase of writing when the book truly comes alive.

So, you have a draft of a manuscript. Now what?

Revisions can be daunting. You’ve spent all this time on your book and you thought you were done (you wrote The End, right?), but there’s still a ton work left to do. This is where the phrase “kill your darlings” really comes into play. You can’t be so in love with/attached to what you’ve written that you ignore when something’s not working and just needs to go.

I suggest doing your revision in waves to focus on a few key things each time. This method will keep the revision manageable so you feel like you’re making progress. It also allows you to get into an editing groove by letting your brain tune out everything except for the few things you are focusing on in that wave. Depending on what works best for you, there could be any number of waves. I’m going to focus on four big ones that work for me.

Wave 1: Big Picture
When you do your first read through of your draft, you’re looking to see if the overall story works before you get into the nitty gritty revisions. For this first step, you’re looking at the pieces that build the foundation of your story: character goals, stakes, and tension; logical story flow and pacing.

I recommend printing out the manuscript two-up on a page and putting in a three-ring binder. This format tricks your mind into thinking of it more like a finished book, which takes you out of the creative/writer mode and puts you in an editor mode so you can be more objective.

As you’re reading, here’s what to look for and questions to ask:

  • Character Goal: Does the main character (MC) have a goal that’s driving the story?
    • What does the character want? Most characters want something external and something internal (emotional need). The internal need should be what’s driving the external goal, though the character might not realize it until later in the story.
    • The goal/want needs to be clear early in the story so the reader can connect with the MC and have a reason to root for them from the start.
    • Does the goal reappear regularly as a reminder of what the character is working toward?
  • Stakes: Are the stakes clear (what will happen to the MC if they don’t reach their goal?)
    • It doesn’t have to be life or death, but it has to feel like life or death to the character.
    • This is what will give the story an underlying current of tension. If the reader knows there’s something bad looming, they’re going to keep reading to see if the MC gets what she wants before this bad thing happens.
  • Tension: Are things constantly getting worse for your character? Are they having to fight harder at every turn to get what they want?
    • Tension can be external (things happening to the MC through plot) or internal (how the character reacts to those external actions). You need both kinds of tension throughout your book.
    • Add in scene-level tension caused by what the MC wants/needs in that moment (may or may not be related to the larger stakes) to keep the momentum driving forward.
    • Constant tension also makes the payoff at the end that much more satisfying because the character struggled to reach their goal and achieved growth by the end of the story.
  • Logic: Is the plot logical? Does each scene make sense from a common-sense perspective? Is it plausible?
    • Readers are willing to suspend belief as long as what you’re asking them to believe is part of the fabric of the world you’ve built, but disruptions in logic that don’t feel true will have readers putting the book down.
    • Make sure each action occurs because it’s the only possible outcome for the story and not because you as the author want it to happen.
  • Flow: Does the story flow in a This happens SO this happens SO this happens structure? Stories are chains of cause and effect where one action/reaction always leads into the next.
    • This is where an outline comes in handy! Look at each scene and make sure that every action or reaction has a consequence that drives the next plot point.
  • Pacing: Is the story unfolding too slowly/taking too long to get to the heart of things? Or are things moving so fast the details and motivations get skipped over?
    • Split up heavy backstory or info dumps and weave throughout the story to give the reader just enough info to not be confused.
    • Do you need to remove or reorder scenes to make the overall story flow better?
    • Do you need to draft new scenes to fill plot gaps or connect an emotion thread?
    • Do the key side characters appear at regular intervals or do they disappear for chapters at a time?
    • Look at the word count for each scene/chapter to see how quickly the story is progressing and if there are any places that stand out as too long or too short.

Once you have your in-document notes, make a list of the changes and group similar changes together to work on one chunk at a time. (Color coding with highlighters or page flags works well here.) Then go ahead and make these edits before starting Wave 2.

Wave 2: Character’s Emotional Arc
Now that the foundation is solid, you need to make sure the changes are not only working but also that character is reacting to things in the right way at the right times. Readers fall in love with characters not specific plot points. So, it’s critical that the character’s experiences and emotional reactions are a constant undercurrent in the story.

Characters must also learn and grow throughout the story for the reader to feel satisfied at the end. In this wave, you want to:

  • Ask “So what” to make sure each scene connects the plot to the character’s emotions (Story Genius does a great job at laying out how to identify what Lisa Cron calls the Third Rail—this emotional current—and ensuring that it’s driving the characters actions).
  • Make sure the character motivations are clear to the reader. Lead the reader by weaving in hints throughout so decisions don’t come out of the blue.
  • Characters will notice different details and describe things differently depending on their mood. Use POV to layer in more details to give a fuller picture of both the story world and the character based on the MC’s emotional state.
  • Look for places where you tell instead of show and flip it to bring the reader into the story so they feel like they’re experiencing it with the characters and not just being told what happens.
  • End chapters on a strong emotion or decision to drive into the next scene so the reader is compelled turn the page to find out what happens next (even if it’s well-past bedtime!).

Wave 3: Line Edits
Now that all of the heavy lifting is done, this is where you’ll focus on the writing itself and not the content, such as:

  • Sentence and paragraph structure/length
  • Word choice
  • Consistency (names, timing, seasons/weather, character habits) – make sure you didn’t edit out something that now makes other details confusing.
  • Transitions between scenes
  • Grammar
  • Find and replace crutch words/phrases

Wave 4: Final Tweaks
This is where I move from paper to reading on my Kindle and a notebook to mark any necessary changes. This tricks the brain into thinking like a reader, not a writer or an editor. You’ll pick up on different things when you’re not reading it so critically. In this wave, you’re looking for:

  • Awkward phrasing
  • Typos
  • Overused words
  • Repeated words (within the same sentence or paragraph)
  • Overlong sentences and paragraphs
  • Anything else you might have missed during the previous revision waves

This is not a quick process. But revision shouldn’t be quick. If you’re skipping right to Wave 3 or 4, you’re probably missing out on some of the most important aspects of revising, and your story will show it. Don’t be afraid to make big changes. The only thing that should be off limits during revision is the heart of your story that made you want to write it in the first place. Everything other aspect can—and should—be fair game.